Projection

This morning when signing into Facebook I came across a post I felt compelled to comment on.
It was a photo of an overweight woman wearing a black top and tights with a comment that said, “Nina has 18 Snickers, She eats 4, She trades 8 for 10 Mars. She sells 6 of them for 3 Big Macs. Why is she wearing leggings?”
On the post, I had replied, “I see a woman who has the confidence to wear what she wears and have no problem with it at all. I spent many years hiding in large clothes..I hated myself and I hid yet I still felt the sting of negative comments and to cope; ate. I still struggle in changing that behavior. I find leggings really comfortable, so perhaps she does too. Sometimes people’s uncomfortable feelings on things can be a projection of their own fears or insecurities. Society has always played a role in manipulating what is right and what is wrong… even down to clothing, which is sad because it is through this so much negative maladaptive thinking occurs which in turn causes mental health issues…. and in turn… food addictions etc. Loving yourself and your body in whatever shape or form it may be, is truly loving yourself. Kudos to that gal I say for wearing what ever she wears.”
I went back to reread what I had written, things still bothered me. I looked at the line “Sometimes people’s uncomfortable feelings on things can be a projection of their own fears or insecurities.”… I began to wonder, what is exactly bothering me about this post?
In thinking about it, I continued to scroll through my news feed and came across an article concerning a woman bullied in a Tim Hortons. In reading it I began to realize why the previous post affected me so much.
It is bullying, plain and simple.
I seen nothing wrong with the way the woman dressed…. Yet many do. What golden measuring tape is being used?
Passing judgment on a woman’s size and insinuating her eating habits without knowing is WRONG. This is bullying.
In a world where schools are promoting 0 tolerance, it is still alive and well with many. Our own responses speak loudly of ourselves…what are we teaching our children?
I would hope that those who take issue with others clothing and size think on it a bit and honestly question themselves; what is it that bothers them about it… it might be quite revealing.

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