Codependency… the Silence of Self

Last month, I experienced many emotions in seeing a new ad that was out by Cineplex; “Lily & the Snowman”. It gave me much fodder for thought.

In seeing it I said, “Oh my, is that ever beautiful!” my heartstrings were pulled and tears welled up in my eyes. I loved it so much I shared it on my wall.

Noticing a strange feeling in my gut, I watched it again. Tears started to stream down my cheeks. I stopped myself and said, “Whoa…OK… what is happening here?” I re watched the commercial another time with more awareness and I soon understood.

As I watched, I saw a reflection of me in the snowman. It so reminded me of my past friendships. How my boundaries were so lax. I was ever pleasing, doing all I could to gain acceptance. I too felt at times that I was put away on ice like the snowman until the needs of others came around.

I was living in silence, in my loneliness and pain. I could never voice my needs and I constantly looked outwards for that love and acceptance… waiting.

I understood the gist of the commercial; that taking time out for THINGS that you love; like a movie, or what ever it may be, is necessary for living a balanced happy life. It is something that is so important for self-care, which is a great message.
However, their method in using a very emotional hook draws you in so much that a person can get lost in the feeling. This can be very detrimental for those who have mental health issues stuck in codependency, for it cements the codependents false belief that happiness is found outside of oneself.

We sure do live in a world of dysfunction and improper programming all way round.

I am thankful for my recovery and that I was able to recognize the emotional wound/trigger; examine it and grieve for my inner child, my little girl. She does not need to look outwards anymore, and she will never feel like that snowman ever again.

Codependency is the Silence of Self…. The silence needs to be broken.

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