Assimulation – resistance is futile

Well i’m down 3.6 pounds this week… now at 305.2 Last few days have been waverin…. so hopefully it’s settled n things will keep dropping. I had said before, just watch when i get close to 300 it will hang there to drive me crazy LoL Well it can take all the time it needs to say it’s goodbyes LoL …for once i leave the 300’s I won’t be returning…

Nothing like a lull in the scales dropping that puts you into that funk, on questioning this or that. Even those feelings of doubt if you will ever be “small”… and it only takes a negative comment from someone to continue that thought. I guess a long journey such as mind one is bound to have those moments. With the way the world is with quick this n quick that, we all wish things could be so simple in weight loss… but hell I was years being obese, it is bound to be a while coming off… and when I think that it will only be 2 years the end of this month that I wass 550 pounds… hey, that’s not too shabby.

Losing weight can sometimes be so obsessive, it can takeover your life and become everything you live and breathe. It takes time learning to live a new lifestyle…. learning to live… hmmm…. I guess with me it’s two fold… learning to live again after losing weight and being alone….  everything is so new in so many ways,…. takes time to assimulate.

The other night I went out to have a campfire, the first since Curtis died. Campfires was his thing, sure I loved them too but I guess it was something I avoided this last year for being in a spot he loved n spent much time holds alot of memories. Well in moving around, collecting up wood, breaking up the old fallen limbs to burn, dragging out  my chair….. I amazed myself at my energy level to do what I was doing alone. I guess what some might call a NSV moment. In breaking up fallen limbs to burn, using leverage of my foot, I came across a limb far to big for me to do… not to say I didn’t try LOL away I went flyin head first, and my face brushed the grass!! I laid there laughing at myself… got up, brushed off my knees and picked it up again n tried LOL then caught myself staggering towards the fire LOL It was a strange feeling, hard to describe… it use to be that I was always the sedentary one sitting at a camfire, and here I was doing, learning… living.

Assimulation can be hard after so many years of being use to another way, but I can hear the old TV program saying…”resistance is futile…..assimulate…”.  Now, I am no Borge lol but we all in life at some point are faced with change, whether we like it or not, resistance will only prevent us from living….. I mean really living.

Everything seems to hit me with those NSV moments. The day before yesterday I dropped my evening dose of insulin. I am no longer on no insulin in the evening!!!… yeahhhh!!! only in the moring!!!….. and that is only 6 units… far cry from the 90u & 80u I use to be on 2 years ago. It just seems so unreal…  I sit here wondering how long before my morning dose will be eliminated….. guess only time will tell…. another assimulation to look forward to…..

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